Kow Taew

The start of the school year is upon us again. We’ve had an amazing stretch of cool weather to help usher it in, and I really appreciate that I’m not sweating all day. I’m also happy about the sweatshirts and cups of hot tea. I can’t expect it to last more than the four days it already has, but I’ll keep enjoying it in the meantime!

Anyway, the photo shows Kow Taew at Bahn Mai Pa Kao School. Every school in Thailand starts with Kow Taew. Students stand in lines – arranged by grade and gender – and first the flag is raised while everyone sings the national anthem. Next, everyone turns toward the school’s primary Buddha shrine for morning prayers. Finally, they turn back towards the flag for what I call the "Student Oath." (It has lines like, "We students, must be disciplined, listen to our teachers, study hard, etc etc...") These three sections of Kow Taew are always student-led.

Kow Taew can be a relatively short assembly – 10 or 15 minutes – or it can go on for up to a half hour, depending on which teachers have announcements, and of what sort. Sometimes my schools have the "English word of the day" or some other such educational item. One of my schools has a student read neighborhood news every Monday. Occasionally teachers will do uniform or haircut checks. Emphasis is on form. I always enjoy watching the pre-schoolers start to get out of line, jump up and down, make funny faces, and generally lose attention in amusing ways.

For the record, "kow" means "enter" and "taew" means "rows." Or in short form, "Line up!"

Coral Resort Review

Coral Resort is located on Hat Kai Bae (Kai Bae Beach), Ko Chang. The resort is situated right on the water, with excellent views of islands and sea. Our bungalow door opened to a stunning view of shimmering water, and at night we sat on the comfortable patio chairs to look at the stars shining over the Gulf of Thailand.

Because Coral Resort is situated over a rocky tidal area, the resort does not have its own swimming beach, which is a drawback for those who want to walk from their doorway right into the water. The best beach is a 10-minute hike from the bungalows, past several other restaurants and lodgings. We didn’t find the walk to be unpleasant, however, and the relative quietness of the Coral Beach location more than made up for the distance. Joggers will appreciate the long stretch of sand available to the public!

Bungalows are very comfortable; even the cheapest have soft spring mattresses, screened windows, and daily cleaning. Air-con is not necessary thanks to the powerful ceiling fans. Some of our best nights of sleep in Thailand were here!

The resort is owned by a friendly French man, and the menu has both Thai and western offerings. The restaurant and bar offer spectacular views of the pool and Gulf. Most of the food and beverages were absurdly overpriced, however, especially considering the cheaper (and, in my opinion, better-quality) food available just a few steps away. The one standout section on the menu is the salads – a regular garden salad came with delicious chunks of feta cheese, a real treat for the price. For most meals, though, I recommend the close-by KB Bungalows, where we found friendly service as well as affordable and delicious fare.

We visited towards the end of April, the beginning of the low season. Hence, the place was wonderfully quiet both day and night. We did have rain for a good 50% of our visit, but we found this to be no obstacle to relaxation.

Coral Resort: Highly Recommended!!

Shoes

A common site outside many wats, shops, and school classrooms is a pile of assorted pairs of shoes. In Thailand, the foot is considered to be the lowest part of the body, and shoes are not allowed into people’s homes. When you think about it, it makes sense, since the road is generally spotted with animal droppings, gasoline drippings, and other nasty things.

This photo was taken at Wat Doi Suthep in Chiang Mai. One woman is holding a white lotus flower that she will be using to make merit inside the wat. The large fruit hanging from the tree are "canoon." (The English word for them is jackfruit, but I didn’t know what a jackfruit was before I came to Thailand!)

Several of our visitors have nervously asked if they need to worry about their shoes being stolen while they are inside. The answer is no, because if feet are the lowest part of the body, who would want to wear someone’s dirty shoes? We did have a PC friend whose running shoes were stolen about 6 months ago, but I think that was very abnormal.

A quick food report: today for lunch with our respective co-teachers, Robert ate pad si iew (stir-fried noodles with soy sauce) and I ate chi-choom (noodle soup with spicy red sauce). For dinner Robert ate stir-fried soy meat with basil and I ate stir-fried soy meat with kale, both with sticky rice. Ahh, sticky rice.

Elephant Mania

Before coming to Thailand I couldn’t wait to see an elephant. While I am still very fond of the large, smelly creatures, I have to admit they have become almost commonplace to me now. Who would have thought? That has not in any way diminished my desire for elephant-related products of all kinds, however. I was very happy last night to find a wooden elephant necklace in Chiang Mai, in the same pattern as my previously purchased wooden elephant earrings.

There are elephant shows at several locations around Thailand, but I think the best one is located in Lampang province in the north. It’s the most "legit" one since its goal is to take care of the elephants and help them live fulfilling lives now that they can’t do their traditional forest work, not to turn them into circus clowns. We have taken all 12 of our visitors there and it’s a hit every time.

Shown here are Robert and Karin on their elephant ride! The elephant’s name was "Thankahmmi."

Teacher Training

Yesterday, today, and tomorrow Robert and I are leading 3 days of workshops for elementary English teachers in our school district. The full workshop series is actually 15 days long, but we were able to skip out some due to our Peace Corps conference in Bangkok and Karin’s visit. (Unfortunately, Karin is having to entertain herself for a couple of days while we work – she did attend the first day with us but I think it was a but dull! Today she rode my bike around town and ordered herself some food for lunch in Thai – very impressive!)

Anyway, our first day’s theme was "Presentation through Pictures, Songs, and Dialogue." Shown in the photo is one of Robert’s flashcard activities – see if you can zoom in enough to read the sentence! Today was "Teaching English Through Storytelling," and tomorrow will be "Different Kinds of Reading." So far it has been a general success for us, but I do think that the teachers are a bit weary after 12 days of training.

Anyway, this photo is fun because it shows some of the pieces of Thai culture that we are used to seeing but that might not make it into the guidebook. You may be able to see the large sign on the wall behind the stage – it officially announces the title of the workshop series and the dates – April 24th to May 7th. To the left side of the stage is an alter to the Buddha which also has a photograph of the King, though the photo cannot be seen because of a teacher’s head. Every big meeting, workshop, or event is opened by a ceremony taking place at this alter. Also interesting, in my opinion, is the range of acceptable women’s clothing. Starting from left, there is a trendy outfit, 2 fancy silk shirts, and then a t-shirt and jeans in the center. (Were school in session, all the female teachers would be dressed more like the two with silk shirts, and would be wearing skirts.) Finally, the advanced technology occasionally available to us is always interesting. On the stage is a very fancy overhead projector, which I used today to project the pictures from the story book that I was reading for all 49 teachers in the room to see. I never had anything like that at my schools in America!

After a dinner of two different stir-fries (kale and sweet pepper), dragonfruit, and mangosteens, Robert, Karin, and I are all just trying to cool off now before going to bed. It’s hot!

Early Rainy Season?

We are continuing to see evidence that the rainy season will be coming soon. Or, perhaps it’s already here...

We visited Ko Chang – an island off Thailand’s east coast – with Robert’s cousin Karin this past weekend, and we had the opportunity to see a tropical rainforest in the rain. Note how the two of them are standing under their umbrellas, while other wet tourists walk in the background. We had hiked out to see a tropical waterfall and swim in its pool, but instead we just got soaking wet waiting to see if the rain would eventually stop. (It did, after we hiked back.) It was quite beautiful, anyway!

While we were experiencing rain along the rainforest coast, our northern town was visited by a "cyclone." (The correct term might be "tropical depression," but both the English-language newspaper The Bangkok Post and the Thai speakers in our town referred to it – in English – as a "cyclone.") For those of you who may not remember, it was Tropical Storm Domrey that brought us last year’s flood, so the news that a "cyclone" had arrived well before the heart of the usual rainy season did not ease my fears that we may be in for more this year!

Karaoke

Our first night in Thailand, way back in January 2005, the Peace Corps staff organized a "welcome dinner" for all us new trainees. Up on the stage, a karaoke machine was set up, and we were advised to start practicing ASAP!

Karaoke is wildly popular in Thailand. No party is complete without it in some form or another. It might be happening at the restaurant or the bar. Houses that look somewhat dilapidated from the outside may have fancy TV’s and hundreds of karaoke CD’s. It is the rare air-conditioned van or bus that isn’t equipped with a traveling karaoke machine and mike.

Perhaps it makes for great community bonding. Talent is not an issue – you don’t have to be a great singer to assume that everyone wants to hear your voice crooning away. Our co-teachers, principals, and neighbors all do it – some more often than others. I’ve never heard anyone criticized for their lack of singing prowess, but occasionally someone might be good enough to earn a round of applause. If not, no matter, they might sing a few more anyway. Yes, Robert and I have been forced to succomb to peer pressure and belt one out a time or two. Fortunately, most standard machines have a few Beatles tunes in their catalog, so we could at least humiliate ourselves in our own language!

There’s nothing like trying to fall asleep at night to the sound of the neighbor next door singing loudly into a microphone just slightly off tempo. Nor is there anything like waking up to the neighbor on the other side doing the same. Will we miss karaoke when we leave Thailand? Hmmm...

(Shown in the photo is our neighbor across the street, Pi La – who is one of the better singers, in my opinion – sharing a tune with us at a recent wedding.)

Birthday in Bangkok

Here's my prescription for a good birthday in Bangkok:

Start with a refreshingly hot morning run. If possible, find a park or green space. If not, go with the busy road near your hotel. You may have to have landmarks like "the first canal past the small garbage dump," but it's great to start the day with your blood moving all the same.

Next, answer numerous calls from friends and family in the United States. Really, it reminds you of how many great people are in your life.

Follow that up by a lengthy breakfast with assorted Peace Corps volunteers. Share experiences of living and working in Thai culture -- no one understands it the way they do. If breakfast goes until noon and the wait staff has already set up for lunch, that's ok.

Ride the river taxi and sky train for all afternoon transportation. They are cleaner, cooler, and have better views than the busses.

Hang out in air-conditioned shopping malls and if you can find some fake designer clothing that fits you, buy it!

Spend the late afternoon and early evening sitting by a pool with a book. Or, go in the pool if you feel up to it.

For dinner, head to the all-vegetarian Italian restaurant you've been hearing about for a year. Enjoy garlicky, cheesy food with red sauce and red wine. Reminisce about past birthdays with someone you love.

When you go to sleep, ignore the fact that you are now 29 (or will be in an hour, if you choose to account for time zones). Or, pretend that 29 isn't really that old.

Govinda Review

Govinda Italian Restaurant is located off Sukkhumvit Road Soi 22 in Bangkok. It is an all-vegetarian Italian restaurant that prides itself on "healthfulness". We visited this restaurant on a surprisingly quiet Saturday night.

After the sun has gone down, the outdoor tables are a pleasant place to sit surrounded by potted plants, and the wait staff will set up a fan or two for you. Inside, the first floor is nicely air-conditioned but the second floor is still a little too warm.

We tried just one item from the starter menu: the Bruschetta Pomodoro. Though both the tomatoes and the bread were pleasantly fresh, the dish was overall lacking in the bold flavors that I usually expect from a bruschetta.

Many of the salads are startlingly overpriced, as is the house wine. We splurged on a carafe of red anyway, and were very pleased to have done so. Robert enjoyed his "chicken" caesar (all of bruschetta's "meat" dishes are made with soy) even though the dressing was, in our opinion, not remotely resembling a true caesar dressing. My Rucola salad was much better, made with fresh arugula, pine nuts, and boldly flavoured shaved Parmesan.

The rest of the menu is more affordable. The list of pastas and main dishes was almost too long -- we took 20 minutes to make a selection! Sadly, the vegetarian lasagna is made with a white sauce instead of a red, so we skipped it. I opted instead for the whole wheat rigatoni, which satisfied all of my Minnesota-homestyle-Italian food desires -- thick with three cheeses, plenty of fresh tomato sauce, all baked in a substantial platter. Robert's ravioli was exquisitely garlicky; its one drawback was its small size -- not nearly enough to fill a grown man. Fortunately, my meal was more than ample enough to fill us both. We had to pass on the desserts, which was probably best for our budget anyway.

On the whole, Govinda is strongly recommended for vegetarians and meat-eaters alike! Take sky train Phrom Pong and walk a short ways past Emporium and the park.

Unwanted Luxury

One of the things we haven't been able to understand about Peace Corps Thailand is why, when we have official conferences and trainings, they insist on putting us up at the most expensive hotels in town. We arrived in Bangkok yesterday (yet again, we're so sick of this city!) for our Mid-Service Conference. All the Volunteers who came to Thailand with us will be gathering this weekend and next week to evaluate where we are at and what we would like to do during the next eleven months. When we got to our hotel -- primely located along the banks of the Chao Praya river -- I was a bit taken aback by the level of luxury and service in the lobby area. In fact, I felt rather out of place in my sweaty travel clothes. Our room is less ostentatious, but unnecessarily fancy all the same. (Do we really need hand towels AND finger towels in the bathroom?)

While we enjoy luxury, and don't usually have much access to it in Thailand (though we're comfortable enough in our town, despite the heat), we don't think that this is a good use of Peace Corps resources. It also often has unpleasant effects on us. For example, the laundry prices at the hotel are sky-high. We had originally hoped to wash clothes frequently, so we packed light for this 12-day expedition (we're also hitting the beach one more time after the conference ends). But, because washing one pair of Robert's pants at the hotel costs 110 baht (about 5 meals), we'll have to change that plan. I think I'll do a lot of laundry in the sink -- something I had hoped to avoid.

We Volunteers would be comfortable enough at a less expensive hotel. We have stayed at several of them in Bangkok, so we know they exist. It's as though the Peace Corps wants to impress us -- and the guest speakers at the conference -- so they pick the fanciest place possible. I would be embarassed if the people in our town, the students in my schools, saw me at this hotel. We try hard to keep a low profile up north -- to not act rich, to not have a lot of expensive possessions, to live simply. Spending a week in ostentatious luxury makes me question the goals and activities of Peace Corps as an organization even more than I already do.

Emergency Wedding!!

There’s always something, here in Thailand. This morning, as we were enjoying a leisurely breakfast of oatmeal at 8:30am after sleeping in a bit (it is a national holiday, after all, the final observed day of Songkran) – not yet showered or dressed of course – there came a call at the gate. Nearly bopping up and down in excitement were a Thai woman and teenage boy we had never seen, and a middle-aged white man with a video camera (he wasn’t bopping so much). I ran into the bedroom to conceal my exposed shoulders while another neighbor who had apparently shown the newcomers to our house explained to Robert that a wedding was taking place, at that moment, and that we should hurry up and go! Now! There will be lots of dancing! (That last bit was added in by the bopping woman.)

I came out with shoulders properly covered and Robert and I looked at each other in dismay, trying to understand how to preserve our slow morning pace and the afternoon of work we had planned. (We’re preparing for a teacher training in May.) Finally we told the women we would shower, dress, and stop by as soon as possible. Closing the door again to finish breakfast, we spent a few minutes grumbling about the last-minute nature of Thai invitations.

I showered first, and while Robert was taking his turn I took the time to iron my coolest blouse. During the next 15 minutes an older, well-dressed woman came by twice to look in the windows, ask me if we were ready yet, and when we would be, offer to come back for us again, and generally prod us along until I made very clear that we’d be there when we were ready.

After packing our work materials and grabbing the umbrella, we walked up the road to the wedding. It was, of course, easy to find because of the loud music and speaking into a microphone that was taking place. As it turned out, a Dutch man was marrying a Thai woman from our town who works in the Netherlands. After we gave them our blessings and money envelope and ate lunch, we were able to chat with him a bit in English about how they met and what they’d be doing next. (It was his brother who had been the gent with a video camera at our gate.)

Of course, we eventually found out that the real reason we were probably so forcefully invited at the last minute – besides just being the closest other white people in the area – was so that Robert could translate the Dutchman’s words of thanks to all the wedding guests after lunch. He did a fine job, of course. And eventually we made it to the office and got some work done. Phew.

(Photo 1 = Robert translating, Photo 2 = Eating lunch)

Buat

Thai Buddhism has a tradition called the "buat." A "buat" is a monk ordination, and we were able to visit one last week. To be a real monk (as opposed to a child monk), you must be a male at least 20 years old. You have to memorize a lot of teachings in Pali – a language that comes from India. Some monks are "career monks" – they live full-time in a temple and do different activities such as teaching or providing community services. But many monks are just monks for a short time period (7-30 days) to bring honor to their families.

Last year, our landlords Por Or Sawat and Ajaan Warangkana explained to us that parents expect their sons to become monks for a time period, because the son will then be able to pull his parents into heaven (or whatever it’s called in Buddhism) after the reincarnation cycles are completed. Because our landlords have only daughters, we asked what they must do. They said that they have to go to at least 5 ordinations per year of other people’s sons.

This family lives on the main road around the block from our house. The mother is a teacher at one of Robert’s schools. Their son was ordained last week at our local temple. He was a monk for 7 days. We attended part of the ceremony, during which we ate some tasty northern food and watched him collect food and money for his monk bowl and then recite some things in Pali. I enjoyed it because (1) it was cool and calm inside the wat, and (2) it was fun to see all the old ladies in their fancy skirts.

(For a more detailed description of an ordination, you can go to the link "Wesley in Thailand" on the side of my blog page. Wesley is another volunteer. He attended the ordination of another volunteer named Michael, who is Buddhist and wanted to be a monk in Thailand for a while during his time here.)

The Difference a Year Can Make?

April 13th is Songkran, northern Thailand’s biggest holiday of the year. It is the old new year – before January 1st was adopted – and includes 3 official days off (this year: Thursday, Friday, and Monday).

Songkran is sometimes called a "national water fight" because one of its most noticeable traditions is the throwing of water. In the olden days, scented water was used to gently give a blessing to elders or others in your community. Over the years, the custom morphed so that now, rural the days preceeding Songkran in rural northern Thailand, you must pack your cell phone and wallet carefully in plastic bags whenever you leave the house.

Last year, Robert and I were not big Songkran fans. It occurred shortly after we had arrived at our site. We thought we were supposed to be trying to "work," and here was this blazing hot town filling up with loud music and squirtguns shooting off the backs of pickup trucks. We were prepared for the worst again this year, and instead have been somewhat confused – but relieved – that we have been able to sleep for the last several nights after all, and that the public drunkenness which bothered us so much last year is much less visible this time around.

We are a little unsure as to the reasons for the change. Could it be that our town really is having a quieter Songkran this year? Or that, as our neighbor speculated this afternoon, fewer people came home from Bangkok this time, so there is less traffic all around? Or that the house next door is not having the giant 3-day party they had last year? Or could it be that because we now have a year of experience under our belts, with Songkran 2005 being such a defining point of that experience, the things that once bothered us greatly now seem really quite small. Perhaps just knowing what to expect made all the difference.

Although Annie left this morning (sniff), she was able to observe some of the festivities of the past several days. Yesterday we went for a bike ride around town, and not only were we spashed by many kids with buckets, but when we stopped to buy noodles at one of my favorite shops, several of my students as well as the proprietor enjoyed smearing wet white powder on our faces. I’ll say one thing for water-throwing: when it’s 100 degrees in the shade, it sure does keep you cool!

Cavities

During the first 28 years of my life, I was lucky enough to develop only one cavity in my mouth, at the age of 19. Since arriving in Thailand 15 months ago, my teeth have apparently become very unhappy with me. A trip to the dentist in January to check on a sore tooth revealed that I had a number of cavities developing. In a state of some shock, and not enjoying the subsequent trips to Bangkok to fix the problems, I have been trying to analyze the reasons behind this sudden change!

Reason #1: Our drinking water in Thailand does not have flouride. I never realized how lucky I was in the USA to have flouride in my water.

Reason #2: The Thai diet is much higher in sugar than my diet in America was. Beverages, snacks, "coffee breaks," and even stir-fries have added lots of unnoticed sugar to my life. This evening Annie commented that one frustration during her time in Thailand has been that she is unable to buy a package of crackers or a bag of dried fruit without then discovering the items to be coated in sugar.

In any case, here we are drinking some very strongly sweeted "café yen" (Thai iced coffee) while visiting one of Chiang Mai’s most famous wats. Yes, even on top of a mountain at a Buddhist holy site, you can get your sugar kick.

Chiang Mai Market

Our visit to Chiang Mai with Annie reminded me of one of the things I love about Thailand – the shopping! The Chiang Mai night bazaar and the city’s many other markets are full of fascinating goods there for the choosing. As a Peace Corps volunteer, my budget isn’t really large enough to purchase many of the items that catch my eye, but I find that just walking around and observing the various displaying, buying, and selling that takes place is entertainment enough. (Besides, our house is full of stuff already, which we want to start clearing out before the rainy season arrives again!)

Speaking of the rainy season, I read an article over the weekend discussing this year’s La Niña phenomenon. According to the article, this year the rainy season in Thailand will be longer and heavier than usual, resulting in increased flooding in the north. I must say that this information made me even more paranoid about rain than I already am, after last year’s events. If anyone knows more about expected rain patterns in Southeast Asia over the coming months, feel free to fill me in.

Barbeque on the Beach

Hooray! We're eating seafood barbeque. That's me with a forkful of barracuda.

In the Water

The Beach!

And now, the non-review edition:

Our trip to Ko Chang was excellent! We had 2 ½ days to lie on the beach, float in the warm water, and eat fantastic barbeque. (I never knew barracuda was a food fish. Now I’ve had it twice.)

The water was undoubtably the warmest I’ve ever felt in nature, even more than a Kentucky lake in July 1995. In fact, our first afternoon, when we were dripping in sweat after lugging our backpacks up the hill to our bungalow, we ran in and all looked at each other, saying, "That’s not even refreshing!" But the disappointment didn’t last long – I think we spent at least 3 hours a day in the water. I read almost a whole paperback and spent a lot of time just staring at all the colors – bright blue water, bright green trees, bright brownish-white sand.

[Lest you think our Peace Corps life will from now on be filled with beach vacations, though, I must note that it’s still quite a difficult and time-consuming trek to get there. Our trip back lasted 27 hours, counting the time spent eating a couple of meals and taking a shower between transportation. (Songtaew, ferry, songtaew, bus, taxi, taxi, train, songtaew, songtaew.) ]

Now back in our house, we’re all looking forward to a good night’s sleep before tomorrow’s expedition to Chiang Mai.

Siam Beach Review

Here, for all those budget travelers in Thailand, is my review of our stay at Siam Beach on Ko Chang. Siam Beach Resort is located on Lonely Beach, the furthest south of the main beach areas on the island and the one most appealing to the backpacker crowd. There is a row of bungalow operations and hotels of varying caliber. Siam Beach Resort is fortunate to have the nicest stretch of sandy beach on this section of the island – the others have rocky beaches that are not as appealing to a swimming crowd.

The bungalows are beginning to fall apart, possibly due to the turn of attention toward the development of a more upscale hotel on the premises, but they are still a good deal for the price and location. (Those not as interested in a prime beach spot might want to check out Maggie’s Bungalows several hundred meters south of Siam Beach.) Bungalows on the hill have air conditioning, which is necessary after trekking up the steps to reach them. Three of us stayed in one of these, which I thought was a bit crowded. The resort was nice enough to give us an additional mosquito net, however. (Very necessary!)

The beach can’t be beat! Shallow, turquoise, calm waters with views of small islands. The water is incredibly warm and clear. You may be able to see the few fish swimming below you even without goggles. The beach has little shade, but if you grab one of the wooden recliner seats and pull it under the coconut trees you’ll find a little relief from the heat of the sun.

The food at the resort is generally delicious but overpriced. The same menu is found at Siam Huts, a 15 minute walk south along the beach, with lower prices. An even more extensive and affordable menu is at Nature Beach, between the two Siams. Nature Beach is also the place to go for cocktails, and it has the best of the stretch’s nightly barbeques (don’t miss the potatoes or the mackerel!).

The biggest drawback to Lonely Beach was the loud thumpin’ music that began each night around 11pm and continued until 4 or 5 am. Even in our perch high on the hill, AC running, we couldn’t get away from the sound and it made a good night’s sleep nearly impossible. The music seemed to be coming from one of the resorts further south, but it echoed over the water with acoustics I would have preferred in another situation.

Overall, I give Siam Beach a YES. Go there if you want a great beach and relaxed pace.

Hot and Cold

I have never been a person who takes well to heat. I remember not liking hot weather even when I was young. Thailand has, therefore, been a bit of a challenge to my physical abilities.

Today probably wasn't hotter than 95 degrees, but I was completely sweaty and wilted by about 11am -- even before Annie and I had arrived at our first tourist destination. I look around at Thai people, and even other tourists, and none of them seem to have this same problem! Annie herself was fine, despite having just arrived from the cooler climes of northern Europe less than 24 hours before.

I was happy to spend some extra money on air-conditioning for our lunch spot. And after returning to our guest house around 6pm, I was even happier to take a nice cold shower. Mmm.

The only good thing about April weather, in my opinion, is that it brings mango season. I have had delicious mango shakes for the past two days. Yum.